When “i’m just exploring” becomes self-protection

Maybe the feeling we are all waiting for only comes after we commit fully to something...

So often, we wait for that feeling of yes. That feeling that something is right for us. That feeling of richness, aliveness and certainty that tells us: this is it — I want to give myself to this.

But what if we have the order backwards?
Sometimes the richness we’re looking for doesn’t become available until we actually engage.

When we keep our options open, we can feel safe. There is always another possibility, another direction, another way out. But staying half-in can also keep us from experiencing what any one path has to offer. Because something simply becomes so much richer when we give it more of ourselves.

I've seen for myself how staying casual and explorative have sometimes been coming from a fear of exposing myself to the possibility of me being "a failure" (even though this is deeply illusional)

In this transmission, I explore the difference between genuine openness and openness as protection — and the self-reinforcing relationship between engagement and enjoyment.

Perhaps we don’t always discover what is right for us by waiting for the feeling. Perhaps sometimes we have to commit enough to something to allow the feeling to emerge.
And commitment doesn’t have to mean knowing where something will lead.

It can simply mean: I’m willing to enter this fully enough to find out…

～Reflection

Where are you waiting to feel “this is right” before allowing yourself to fully engage?

Here are some questions to contemplate:

❍ What am I waiting to feel before I commit?

❍ Could it be that the feeling I’m looking for might actually emerge through my engagement?

❍ Where might keeping my options open be protecting me from the vulnerability of choosing?

❍ What would I be willing to enter more fully if I didn’t need to know where it was going?

～Put into practice

Choose one thing you’ve been circling around.

❍ It doesn’t have to be a life-changing decision. It could be a creative project, a relationship, a practice, an idea, or simply something you’ve been wanting to explore.

❍ Give yourself a small period of wholehearted engagement — perhaps a week or two.

❍ During that period, practice not evaluating whether it’s the right thing. Instead, give yourself permission to enter it fully.

Then notice the movement: Engagement → Enjoyment → More Engagement

What do you experience?

With Love
- Kat